Saturday, October 11, 2008

books that shaped my life.....part1

During my last blog entry, i was reminded of how literature (English, Hindi and Bengali) has shaped my beliefs and behavior. I had started to read novels quite early in my life, most of the time not even understanding 50% of the lines and completely missing out the depth of the of matter in hand or the "in between the line's" stuff which makes a book far more interesting than any other form of media. But subsequent re-reading of my favorite stuff as i grew along, made me understand the authors view point far more precisely. I personally think that the best way to enjoy a piece of writing is when you can identify yourself with the protagonist and actually can relive the whole story within your mind. Of course you need a certain level of imagination to achieve that goal but once you are the protagonist you can truly feel and enjoy the "in between the lines" (which of course depends on the persons interpretation, which makes it even more enjoyable).

Before i go on blabbering about more literary complicated author's and their novels that shaped me, i will like to mention that i did read a lot of "Hardy Boys", "Nancy Drew", "Famous Five" and similar kind of books along with numerous comic books (ranging from Tin tin, Asterix
Chachha Choudhury, Pinki, Phantom,Tarzan, Superman, Batman..etc) before moving on. Surprisingly enough i still like to read comics of superheros as no other written material gives me simple uncluttered childish pleasure.

  1. Frank Baum: "The wonderful wizard of Oz" is probably the first children book i read and it triggered my imagination with its "Emerald city". But until recently i always presumed the Wicked Witch to be the most evil witch of all times. But after watching the play "WICKED" it made me realize the old saying "all that glitters is not gold". BTW i recently found out that some so called hip people haven't even heard about OZ and some knew it by watching the movie. Don't know what the hell these people were doing when they were kids:O.
  2. Charles Dickens:Similar to a lot of people i started my journey of more complicated literature with Charles Dickens. The first time i read Oliver Twist, it was in those small pocket size books which had sketches on one side of the book every few pages(i think i got it as a birthday gift from somebody :D). As you read through Oliver Twist, David Copperfield you start to feel the highly idealistic and immensely optimistic way of story telling. Great Expectation is one of his novels which i actually understood in depth, when i re-read an unabridged version at a later age. But the novel which defined what love is for me was "the tale of two cities". Both the books opening line (It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....) and the ending line ("It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.") are the words that still shake me up time and again. This novel secured by belief of "unrequited love being the purest form of love" (a definition i still adhere to ) as it encases my firm belief that when somebody gives without asking anything in return it shows of pure love. Another of his book worth mentioning is "the ghost of Christmas carol" which showcase another optimistic view point that it's never too late to change.
  3. Alexander Dumas: The "Three Musketeers" whose hallmark quote "one for all, and all for one" laid down my first beliefs about loyalty and friendship. Though as i grew older, and the initial innocence faded ,the quote become "one for all, all for one*" (* conditions apply). His other vastly influential book being "the Count of Monte Cristo" which still remains my all time favorite adventure novel. I actually didn't know how complicated and important all the characters and the links in between them were till i read the unabridged version from Gutenberg.org(which remains my best source of unabridged classics).
  4. Herman Melville: The only book i have read from this author is "Moby-Dick" and is my3rd most favorite adventure tales. This being my 2nd Pictured pocket book, which probably led to my fascination towards whales (i finally got to see one on my trip to Nova Scotia this summer). It's one of those long books whose symbolic (biblical and otherwise) and metaphorical meaning came to me later, after re-reading. The image of captain Ahab's standing on the deck and asking everybody to attack the white whale still lingers in my head.
  5. Mark Twain:"The adventure of Huckleberry Finn" and "the adventure of Tom sawyer"being by first glimpses into American lifestyle. I could really identify with Tom sawyer, the naughty prankster where as Huckleberry Finn introduced me to the Black Slavery situation in America. His books sparked my long time dream of going down the Mississippi. Mark Twain truly kick started the American literature scene.
  6. R.K.Narayan: "Malgudi days" being one of the those books which i read after watching it on T.V. Normally i am very skeptical about this kind of thing, but the simplicity of "Malgudi Days " is amazing and Swami remains my most liked Indian child protagonist.
  7. Thomas Hardy: No single author has as much impact on my thinking as much as Thomas Hardy. All his novels were on social structure and I think he was way ahead of his time. He wrote of things that people are facing now but were considered unthinkable at that time. The first work i read was "Tess of d'Urbervilles: A pure woman faithfully presented" and is one the books which i first read the unabridged version (almost 400 pages or so). It opened my mind towards the sexual double standards that our society suffers from for such a long time. He long wrote against the norms of Victorian notions of female purity which plagues our society even now as it's so deep rooted that people who are trying to stand up against it get crushed by the society. The other book that greatly influenced me was "Jude the Obscure", which i think is more about Sue Bridehead than Jude himself. Sue is a picture of a modern day independent women, who are complex yet irresistible and mystifying (at least in my POV) as long as they adhere to their own independent thoughts and ideas, but eventually fall prey to the so called social norms under everlasting pressure of social scrutiny and destiny (as Sue Bridehead embraces religion at her time of crisis and goes back to her husband but dies within). Sue is the most sexually free thinking heroine in the entire history of literature. These days writers are proving their free thinking by describing the actually sexual act rather than the turmoil and the beliefs behind sexual freedom. Sue also portrays in my POV the constant duel within a women to like her stability or normality of marriage yet yearn for the passion and turbulence of sexual freedom. Some of the conversations between Jude and Sue will linger in my mind for ever as it showcase woman's capability of withstanding some extreme adversity with defiance yet totally crumbling down under some. I think men can never have this wider range of strength or vulnerability. A woman's strength is probably her extreme weakness as well. I strongly believe when Sue Bridehead say "Because no man would touch a woman unless she gives him a reason to. A touch or a look that say come on. If you never look, they'll never come. You are the timid sex." I am always attracted to girls or women who believe in their own thoughts and freedom yet am frustrated to see these same women submit to the social norms. Most of the women i have meet who had a strong conviction eventually ended up with a total submission which destroyed their individuality and their independence. Unsurprisingly these two books(his last) caused a major uproar at those times and will probably have the same reception if people read it nowadays. His other books that i have read and liked are "the mayor of casterbridge" ,"the return of the native" and "far from the maddening crowd". I can go into details of my thoughts on each of his books but that will be too much :D. I also believe that Hardy is partially to blame for my being an atheist and having a very sarcastic view point towards GOD and all his followers. Thomas Hardy remains among my top five favorite authors.
  8. Lewis Carrol: "Alice's adventure in wonderland" and "through the looking glass" really ignited my passion for fantasy land. His word play and logic behind the utter gibberish is absolutely breathtaking. The hall mark of a true fantasy is when the reader starts believing in the fact that it might be true, which the so called modern day famous writer like J.K Rowling can never achieve. She might be earning a lot of money and fame but that doesn't make her work worth noting, similar to the fact that a master or Phd degree doesn't make a person educated(both of which are taken as granted by the so called society of ours).
While writing this post i found out that its going to be a long post so have decided to crop it into parts.

End of Part 1

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Am i a Atel ??... :D

I have been called a lot of things in different languages in my existence so far. It all started(as far as my memory goes) when my sister started calling me Ashobho (uncultured),Jongli(wild) and Janowar (animal). It was said all together in a rapid fashion and with an acute sense of anger (and most probably i deserved it all the time), but surprisingly rather than being disgusted or peeved i took these rhyming words ( repeat it for 100 times and you will feel the rhyming part in your bones :D)as a compliment. I don't exactly remember the first time i heard it , but knowing myself i think i would have felt a sense of accomplishment. And "praise the lord above" today i felt the same along with a sense of immense pride when called an Atel . Of course when the word was first bestowed upon me i had no clue of its meaning, but did recall having heard it before somewhere (probably heard it from vinmoo). Initially i thought that it was some kind of softer synonym for Gadha(literal meaning "Donkey" but actually implies stupid or idiot) , which oddly enough ;) i have been called quite a few times followed by lots of "@#$#$^%$#@#@" (silently of course, people i mingle with are not as Ashobho, Jongli, Janwar as i am). So on hearing it and not being offered a meaning by the plaintiff, when asked , i took it upon myself to find out what it meant. So using my best friend "goggle" i found this Blog entry by "Imhotep's Asklepion"which describes the word Atel and Atlami. CCPing off his blog the definition of Atel and Atlami and giving the unknown original author the full credit(the blogger mentioned is a member of the same CCP crime syndicate).
...to trace the root of the Bengali word "Atel", with the nasal chandrabindu over A and the soft T.

My guess is that it comes from an abridged version of the French pronunciation of the word "intellectuelle". The "in" is pronounced as exactly we say A with a chandrabindu over it. And the "t" is soft.

So Bangla "Atel" is basically the French "intell".

"Atlami" is of course the Bangali's attempt to form a Bangla noun about the vocation of the Atel. So, Atlami is the Bangla bastardization of what is known in romantic European languages as "intellectualism".

"Atlami" has the same negative connotation among Bangalis as intellectualism has in the west."
Assuming this definition quite plausible, i found it highly acclamatory. I have to check with vinmoo regarding the validity of the definition before i proudly start proclaiming myself Atel, along with Ashobho, Jongli, Janwar and Odbhut. Odbhut being the previous kudos by the same plantiff, although i have been called Odbhut(meaning weird) in at least 6-7 different languages and dialects(counting only the ones i could decipher). Another surprising fact is that me being an"Atel" was the gist(she didn't use the word Atel , and i am pretty sure she doesn't know it either)of a 2 hour long argument with my sister just the day before. I personally feel a conspiracy by the universe against me as i tend to get most of the similar kind of adjectives heaped on me from different(completeley unrelated) people within a very short time frame. It also makes me ponder whether i change my attributes on a fixed time basis from one to another like the Chinese calender (e.g.year of the rat or donkey or cock..... :D). If i was in the medieval times i would blame it on the celestial orientation of the stars, planets,the sun and the moon but that not being the case lets analyze it intellectually :D wheteher it is a compliment to be proud of or to rectify.

WARNING: The intellectual analysis will be a pure form of "Atlami" and readers(if any) will probably feel an utmost urge of bestowing some adjectives on me(the good part being that you can use "#@$$##$#$#%$%@@" as loudly as you want as you probably are not near me :D).

I do agree that i tend to vigorously judge people,according to my own rules(which i have noted and modified (when needed,but it seldom does :D)during the course of last 23 odd years, and probably am in a situation where it can no longer be modified), but who doesn't. Every single person is judging everybody else all the time and for small and irrelevant reasons(e.g. habits, sexual preferences, financial situations, dressing etc). At least i judge people for one reason only,i.e them being stupid or not. My sister blames the effects of Oscar Wilde (my favorite author) for my behavior or the lack of it .
To quote Oscar Wilde (who will definitely be one of the prominent Knights of the round table of Atel's if not King Arthur ):"there is no sin except stupidity" .Of course the definition of stupidity has to be thought out by the person himself as OW said "A man who does not think for himself does not think at all" and will probably not concur with any other person in the world. But the gentlemanly thing to do is agree to the other persons intelligence when witnessed, if not immediately then later (at least silently :D). I don't know why people get pissed off when i call them stupid (more by my actions than words, thats what i have been told) when they by themselves know where they stand(if they don't know,they won't know it even if they were hit by a truck saying stupid on it in bold letters), which wouldn't change even if i keep calling them stupid for the rest of my life or theirs. Actually its the semi-intelligent people (i am an optimist and don't like calling people semi-stupid ;) ) ,i.e. the people who know they are not entirely stupid but are not confident enough to stand by themselves,who yearn for being noted . I wonder if i constantly tell people all the nice things they want to hear will they ever call me an Atel . That's something i probably will never know as buttering people without a motive is not my cup of tea.

Now looking at in a different way, i get numerous advise from people telling me what i am doing wrong with the intention that i should change at least in front of them(i am excluding my sister from this analysis as she always has my benefit in her mind when giving advice by the truckload:D). Isn't giving advice to anybody(not that i am complaining about the advice given as that keeps me on track ;) ) and calling somebody Atel is a form of Atlami by itself.I on the other hand tell them what i feel is stupid, in my opinion (as they do to me) but i do not ask them to listen to me or change in any way. Then why isn't everybody calling themselves Atel? If we pay attention to the fact that any human with even a little bit of gray matter will become an Atel at some point of time and will immensely enjoy it (though they won't agree to it openly) then actually Atlami is a charecteristics not to be shunned but embraced with open arms.
My words sometimes sound harsh or maybe even impolite but if change the way i say things just to make it more politically correct and so that people can take it down easily then i am committing the crime of being untruthful to myself which is something i don't intend to do until and unless it's absolutely necessary.

I don't know what made the plaintiff call me an Atel this time around but i have always known when i have been an Atel and i am most of the time self aware of my behaviour(maybe i don't say it loud) when sober. I would like to end this session of Atlami by saying that i am proud to be an Atel than being called a stupid as being an Atel means that i have atleast something intelectual in me.


I have tried to analize things in a gentalmanly (i pride myself in being one...heheheh...) and intellectual fashion .I will like to finish by quoting OW.

"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally".. :D


PS: if you don't get the joke read it again and again (but after 7 tries give up :P)

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